La Bella Noire’s Ramblings

just venting…

I’m sad. I’m not sure what we’re teaching our youngins, but I know for damn sure what we’re not teaching them. I keep reading about the girls who supposedly decided to get pregnant together and about se.x education programs across this country. I’ve also been talking to some of my nieces, nephews, and some of their friends (they come to me with everything…I’m the cool aunt, so they’re not afraid to ask me the hard questions) and I see that there’s a big gap in their learning.

For example, one of my niece’s friends (she’s 21) kept being told that she should use a condom. That was really the only thing she knew about sex. She knew that they provide protection from some STDs, but didn’t know how/why they protect from pregnancy. I had to explain what semen is, where it comes from, how it creates a pregnancy, etc etc. Essentially explaining her body and the male body to her. She was straight.up.clueless. She knew you could get pregnant from sex, but didn’t know why and what caused it. That makes me sad. She was saying how a lot of her friends had the same question because they didn’t get taught at home or at school. All they heard was “wrap it up”. I’m more than glad that she uses that advice, but I’m worried that not enough kids/teenagers/grown ass adults don’t know enough about their own bodies to keep them from getting in some crazy situations. I’m more worried that there’s a generation of over-sexed, under-informed people walking around.

For some people it’s hard to talk about, but the end result—ignorance—can have repercussions that are even harder to talk about. That’s why part of me is so excited to become a nurse; hopefully I can use that career as a way to educate someone.

*sigh*

How do you keep yourself healthy when you’re under a lot of stress? I’ve got a lot of projects going on right now at work and home and my body is starting to fail me. I’ve been at the gym no more than usual, but my body is extra extra sore like I ran a marathon. My sinuses still aren’t quite right, and I’ve got that general malaise feeling. I really can’t afford to fall apart right now, so I need to find a way to stay healthy (and sane).

What do you normally do to keep it together? Spa days are great, but I need something other than R.ed Bu.ll to keep me going during the day and something to keep me from getting sick all over again. Suggestions??

Thought I’d share one of my more embarassing moments-

Have you ever gone out just knowing you look nothing less than completely fabulous and fierce? I mean feeling your own sexiness sort of like that chick in the Plan.ters Peanuts commercial (I know yall have seen that mess). Have you ever found out later on that you were the farthest thing from all of that?

A while backI had the cutest skirt suit on for work; even took the time to get the makeup just so. I was having one of those Mary J “I like what I see when I’m looking at me when I’m walking past the mirror…” moments. Well management required us to wear pantyhose at work all the time…not a problem normally.

I was going about my day and stopped in the restroom. Somehow when I was done, the back of my skirt got caught up in my pantyhose. I didn’t notice, and the restrooms in the building are single-person so no one had the chance to warn me. I know you know where this is going. Yes I was that girl. I had a meeting and as Murphy’s Law would have it, there was not a human being in sight to help me out. I went to the meeting, and then left to go get lunch. While I was walking to the car, I saw someone in the corner of my eye running up to me.

Person: “Come here, I need to tell you something”

Me: “Can I help you?”

Person: “I can’t say out loud”

Me: “Anyway…okay, whatever”

Person: “Okay, well you need to know. Your right ass cheek is showing. Your skirt is caught in your pantyhose”

Me: “Ohmydamn. Thank you soooo much”

Beeline to the car which was only about 15 feet away by that point. Sat in the car for a good 5 minutes. Wanted to cry. Cried. Pulled skirt out of pantyhose. Went back to work, not a word was ever mentioned, even though I know the people in the meeting saw that ish.

Ouch.

Now moving on…Happy Friday yall. Have a great weekend.

I’m just waiting for final confirmation, but I got in!! I’m going to be a nurse! Starting in january, I’ll be in one of the best nursing schools in the country. I’ve finally found a career path that I can put my heart in and still get paid pretty well (I’d still do it no matter what, though).

Most of my life, my mom (who’s an RN), told me not to get into that field because of all the politics. Every time I’ve thought about going into nursing, I’ve heard her voice in the back of my head so I steer clear. I got my degree in the admin/management side of the healthcare game because I’ve always felt at home in a medical setting, but it just wasn’t quite right. In my current position, I have the things that a lot of cubicle ghetto dwellers want–my own office, a “good” title, and some fairly important duties. But the longer I’m in it…the more I hate it. The being behind a desk and pushing papers and emails around isn’t making me happy. I get a twinge of jealousy when I see nurses and clinical staff walking around in their scrubs. I went back and forth about maybe going to cardiac tech school, dental hygeine school, or nursing. But at the end of every internal debate, nursing won out. Now that I’m a grown azz woman not afraid to choose the direction of my life and able to make educated decisions without my mother’s (or anyone else for that matter) opinion/experience being my sole influence, I’m going with my gut.

I’ve been asked if I think it’s stupid to get another bachelor’s, but I absolutely don’t. I see it as an investment in my future, and because I know better I won’t be owing Sa.llie M.ae my second child (she already has dibs on my first). I’ll probably go on to get my MSN, but we’ll let whatever organization I land a job with pay for that.

I’m so excited even though I know there’s going to be some challenging times ahead. I’ll be in school full time and (hopefully) working 3/4 time, so I’ll have to be dedicated. It seems like this year has really been one of serious change for me. I can say I kept my new year’s resolution of going for my personal and professional dreams. For one of the first times in my life, I’m proud of me. I let go and let Him, and my paths are being laid out for me. Fabulous.

I’m about to start on probably the most interesting personal journey ever. I’m giving up the creamy crack (relaxers) for good. I actually stopped perming my hair when I first moved to the urrrea, so it’s been about 2 and a half years since my last “bone straight” session. I’ve worn a lot of braids and hairpieces since then, but I’ve finally made up my mind.

It was one of those decisions that took a long time to make, going back and forth and getting a better sense of what I find aesthetically pleasing and really getting a better sense of who I am. I find beauty in a fresh roller wrap, neatly groomed locs, and a big ol’ Angela Davis fro’, so for me it’s not about the argument of is natural better than relaxed. I can’t bother getting caught up in that, because for me to say one is better than the other would make me a hypocrite.

I’ve spent a lot of time in the last few years really getting to know who I am, so I’ve figured that this change is probably the best for me. I’ve got a lot of cleansing and healing to do (including how I take care of myself, how I eat, how I think, etc) and that’s probably best done naturally. In January, I’ll be starting the process of locing my hair. I’d do it now, but out of pure vanity I don’t want to have baby locs in my wedding pictures. I’m having a good time right now with my kinky twists, but we’ll see what hairstyle the big day brings. Maybe I’ll wear my big long fluffiness Chaka Khan style, or then again maybe not.

My reasoning for going natural might not be ‘good enough’ for some, but I’m happy with the direction I’m going and even happier with the direction my hair is going. Looking forward to a fresh start.

I’ve got a fac.eb.ook and mysp.ac.e account like most everyone in the known universe, and seriously I’m bout tired of them both. Well, really only the “book where errbody’s face is at”. “The Space”…I just kind of retired from that. I haven’t logged on in about 5 months, and the last time I did I got some kind of strange hate mail from some dude who was trying to be a Mr. Tasha contender. Your girl has no time for that. But while I’m talking about “The Space” and all…why are grown azz people still acting like that’s the hottest thing on Erf (yup, erf. Not earth, erf)?

Dude trying to get my # at the mall: “Hit me on my mys.pac.e page. I got like 500 friends up on there. I change my pics all the time so you never know what you’re gonna see. You gotta keep your shit up, you know?”

Me: “What?”

Dude: “This chick had holla’d at me on there and she did my survey….”

Me: *WTF face* “That’s great. Listen, I’m in a rush” *walks away*

Is that the new mack for the over-50- and goes to the Mason Hall on First Fridays dressed in head-to-toe red with fringes hanging from the sleeves and matching cowboy boots-crowd? Not impressed, but completely amused.

Anyway, it’s that damn ‘book’ that’s got me kinda irritated. Of course it’s great (and maybe not so great) to catch up with people from high school (and apparently Kindergarten—some chick I haven’t seen since 1988 found me a few weeks ago. Ol’ girl has TOO much time on her hands. And why does she still know my name?? C-R-E-E-P-Y!!) But seriously, it seems like every time I sign on, I’ve got another invitation to add some crazy azz application.

“So-and-so threw you a hot potato. *click here to add Hot Potato* *click here to share with your friends*”

Now I’ve got like 70 different stupid little applications, and every time someone hugs me or pokes me or slaps me upside the head, I get another little notification asking me to add whatever the application du jour is. And why do you feel it necessary to include me in your en masse sharing? For the love of Purple Rain, pleeease stop. I just want to log in, say hi to whomever and sign the fugg off. Ok, I need to stop sounding so curmudgeonly. I like sharing, really I do. Just not with everyone on this side of the Atlantic Ocean.

And ex dude…if you ‘kiss’ me one more time or send me anymore ‘gifts’, I will blow up your laptop. I don’t like you like that anymore. Get that through your big azz head.

Now that I’ve got that off my chest, how do yall feel about “The Book” and “The Space”?

I’ve been extra neglectful of this here blog as of late, but I just haven’t been able to get myself to sign in and write something. Truthfully, the thought of just deleting the whole thing has crossed my mind more times than I care to say. I haven’t been reading others’ blogs much either, so sorry if I seem really behind on the goings on in the blogosphere. I could hide behind all of the extra work I’ve had as of late, the wedding planning, the great recent great weather, being sick, or my unfortunate injury…I recently jacked up my shoulder and have to get my rotator cuff fixed (BK, I’m coming in to see you soon even with my arm in a sling!). All of those would be viable excuses, and do really keep me busy, but really I just haven’t felt like it.

I keep stumbling upon things I want to write about though and sometimes I just have stuff on my mind, so that’s why I haven’t completely given up yet. I started to think that if I didn’t have anything profound to say, then I shouldn’t say anything at all, but I can’t go out like that. So I’m gonna try and do better. No promises, but I’ll try…so don’t take me off your blogrolls yet!

It’s damn near June, and I have the flu and a sinus infection. Miserable doesn’t even begin to describe me. I’m going back to bed now. *groans and rolls over*

Amy tagged me!

Here are the rules: Link to the person who tagged you. Post the rules on your blog. Write six random things about yourself. Tag six people at the end of your post linking to their blog. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. Let the tagger know when your entry is up. Here goes:

1. I adore shoes, but I hate wearing them. I own an ungodly amount of shoes, and when I go shopping I can’t help but scout out some hotness in shoe form. But I spent most of my life in some type of dance shoe and have immediate relatives who have feet so jacked up they’d be better off as foot amputees, so that means I have to be careful what shoes I wear. Usually it’s more comfortable for me not to wear any at all. I don’t really like how shoes feel on my feet, and yes I *will* take a pair of shoes off if my feet hurt and not care where I am. I’m that crazy lady you see in the summer tipping barefoot across the parking lot with a pair of espadrilles in her hand cussing the pavement for being so hot. (Yes Jameil, I’m talking about feet again!)
2. I’m horrible about calling people back. I’ll remember like 3 days later that I was supposed to call you back then send you an ‘oops’ text. But I’m honest about it, so don’t be mad.
3. I don’t drink extra cold water and I’ll wait for the ice to melt before I drink ice water. Something about it being really cold makes me sneeze. Restaurant waitstaff get a kick out of me asking for ‘slightly-below-room-temperature water’. Everything else I drink has to be cold…damn near frozen for me to drink it (except my morning tea/coffee).
4. I love airports. There’s something about seeing people crossing paths in one big azz building at random intersections of their lives that interests me. Like this family is going on vacation, this person is going to a funeral, and I’m going to see my old college roommates, but for just a little while we’re all here and have something in common. I hope to visit all of the airports in the USA and most of the major international hubs before I die. Yep, I’m a nerd. Certified.
5. I’m excited about having kids. D and I are planning on waiting for a year after the wedding, but both of us are looking forward to being parents and talk about it almost daily. I think he’d be the best dad. We’re not rushing though, and we like it that way. I didn’t think I was going to want kids, but that maternal urge is no joke.
6. One of my nicknames is “Face”. I can and often do make some crazy looking faces and can’t for the life of me hide how I’m feeling because my face will tell on me. Back in high school, someone did an art project based on my mug…every day for 30 days she took a picture of me making a face then made a collage out of the pictures. Angry face, stinky face, WTF face, etc. She got an A on the project and it was featured in some local student art show. Kinda strange having my face be an art project, but that was my 8.5 minutes of fame.

I’m supposed to tag 5 other people, but I never know who to tag so if you want to play go for it and post this on your blog.

You know those bath gel/lotion/loofah basket sets that you can get from W*lMart and the like? What about those “makeup sampler sets” complete with compact mirror? Does anybody ever use the stuff inside? Is that stuff even usable? I know for a fact that every single one of those I’ve ever gotten—usually from a boyfriend or family person I never see—still have the plastic on them and have ended up in the ‘forgotten product abyss’. I have used the ones from B&BW or Vicki’s Secret, but never the one that have brand names like “Bath and Spa Worx Sun-smelted raspberry” (trying to sound like the real brands). People really like giving those sets as gifts, especially because they’re so easy to stock up on after Christmas (you know the aisles are chock full of ‘em during the 75% off sales). I can’t lie, I’ve given them as gifts, but after this weekend I will never do it again.

See, I got coerced into going yardsale hopping this weekend with some co-workers and one of the most popular items for sale were those daggone “spa” baskets, with plastic still on, pricetags still affixed. I didn’t know the problem was so widespread.

But there has to be another type of “cheapie gift” for co-workers, etc that will actually get used. I’m struggling because one of my co-workers is moving to another part of the country, so there’s going to be a party in her honor and we’ve been asked to give gifts. I know getting a card that says, “Well….I guess that’s that, huh?” isn’t proper etiquette, and getting her a basket of off-label spa products or a potentially lethal lead-based faux-brand cosmetic palette is a waste of my time, money, and space. I don’t know her well enough to buy her some slippers, or Rogaine for that bald spot, but I don’t want to come off…uhh…ungracious….uhhh…cheap is more like it.

Suggestions?